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Giftfic Time!

Happy birthday argentum_luna</lj> !  Thanks for all of your wonderful crack and fantastic art and lemsip-induced craziness this past year.  ^__^

I tried to write you Mizuki fic, I really did, but I just couldn't write more than a sentence without wanting to headdesk.  XD  So you get Inui/Ryo-ish drabble instead.

Title: The Laws of Shonen Jump Romance

Summary: Inui attempts to apply the rules of Shonen Jump romances to Ryoma.

Rating: So, so PG.

Words: 574


_____________________


The Laws of Shonen Jump Romance


“100 percent probability that she is your destined one.”
 
Ryoma turned back to his senpai as the two girls walked away. “Who?”
 
“Ah, I should have specified which one. Ryuuzaki Sakuno.”
 
The freshman blanched. “What makes you say that, senpai?”
 
“The data, of course.”
 
“The data?”
 
Inui adjusted his glasses, tone quite serious. “That’s right. I’ve been reading up on it.”
 
“On relationships?” Ryoma’s tone was faintly incredulous. “How did you arrive at that?”
 
“Well, the data says…” Here Inui flipped through a particularly thick notebook. “That in approximately 95 percent of all classic romances, the first girl met is the one the protagonist ends up dating.”
 
“We’re not dating.”
 
“Not yet, of course. According to a wealth of material, these things take time.”
 
Ryoma stared. A stray tennis ball flew over the fence behind them and rolled into the grass nearby. “She’s not the first girl I’ve ever met, senpai.”
 
“But the first one you exchanged words with in Japan, correct?”
 
“What are you talking about?”
 
“You asked her for directions.”
 
Ryoma’s eyebrow twitched. “How do you even know that, Inui-senpai?”
 
“But you did.”
 
“They were wrong.”
 
He made a note. “That has an insignificant effect on the pattern. You’ve eaten her bentou.”
 
“Since when does that mean anything?” he replied in a deadpan.
 
“She watches all of your matches.”
 
“So do you, senpai.”
 
“What?” That part tripped Inui up briefly. Fumbling, he continued, “Well, naturally, but… She shows great concern when you’re injured. For example, when you were playing Fudomine’s Ibu Shinji.”
 
Ryoma’s brow furrowed. He appeared displeased at the recollection. “She came onto the court.” The court was sacred.
 
“Another particularly common theme – the destined lover frequently pursues her chosen one into dangerous territory despite repeated warnings not to do so. See Rurouni Kenshin Kyoto arc and a number of instances in Bleach…”
 
“And ruins everything in all of those examples,” Ryoma pointed out.
 
Inui adjusted his glasses. He’d looked quite deeply into this matter and was confident of his position, but was strangely beginning to feel out of his depth. “Regardless, the pattern holds.”
 
“It’s a stupid pattern.”
 
Scrambling for firmer ground, Inui continued, “Another significant moment was your departure to America. She came to see you at the airport.”
 
“She was late. She wouldn’t have made it if the flight wasn’t delayed.”
 
“But in the end, the gift you received from her held the most meaning, did it not?”
 
“Actually, the data you gave me was more useful. I used it to fix up the zero-shiki drop shot,” he commented.
 
Inui was definitely not approaching this right. Ryoma was being stubborn. “The data doesn’t lie.”
 
The freshman tilted his head, golden eyes observing him curiously. After a moment, he crooked his finger and said, “Hey, I’ve got a secret.” Obligingly, the data gatherer lent down so that the freshman could whisper in his ear.
 
No words were spoken, however – there was only the soft press of lips against his cheek.
 
Inui blinked, then straightened, staring at the freshman as though he was a completely unclassified specimen of the highest rarity.
 
Ryoma smirked, and tugged on his cap. “What does your data say about that?” He propped his racquet up on his shoulder and sauntered away.
 
Inui remained still for a number of minutes before numbly closing his notebook. 
 
He was going to have to start all over again.
 
BL novels this time, apparently. He’d have to borrow Gravitation from Tezuka.
 

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
agentlerain
Dec. 12th, 2008 09:54 am (UTC)
asdalaksjdalka, SIN. Uh, you convert me to Inui/Ryoma? :3 Inui's cluelessness and faltering is just too cute.

“Hey, I’ve got a secret.” Obligingly, the data gatherer lent down so that the freshman could whisper in his ear.

No words were spoken, however – there was only the soft press of lips against his cheek.
I have used this before. :| But uh, Ryoma is much smoother and cuter at it? :D
sinnatious
Dec. 12th, 2008 10:20 am (UTC)
Awesome. Maybe I'll do longfic for it one day. ;)

sdlkjfkslfj It's a lovely phrase, isn't it? Tad generic, though. Like breath holding. ^__^ But sometimes cliche is good.
kaorismash
Dec. 12th, 2008 11:06 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD YOU KNOW HOW YOU OFFERED TO LET ME READ OVER A CERTAIN FIC A WHILE AGO?

ASJFKHSDG KIND OF REGRETTING SAYING NO I HATE YOOOOU.

Proper review and copypasta thing once I let the food digest. They absolutely try to gorge you here. :|
kaorismash
Dec. 12th, 2008 11:22 am (UTC)
LINES THAT HURT MY STOMACH LOTS:

The freshman blanched.
*_*

A stray tennis ball flew over the fence behind them and rolled into the grass nearby.
asjfhsjkdhgksdgRANDOM!FLYING!TENNISBALL. It's like, the new cricketchirpthing. HEY I BET YOU'LL BE STARTING A NEW TREND FOR THIS. Oh why are you such a genius. *_*

“They were wrong.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH

“Since when does that mean anything?” he replied in a deadpan.
dhjfksdgf Eeeh, your Ryoma voice, I wish I had it. *__* He's so deadpanny and eeeeh asfhadg. I BET PONTASHARING SUGGESTS OTHERWISE, THOUGH. :>

“She came onto the court.” The court was sacred.
THE SNARK. HEY, THIS IS PERHAPS MY MOST FAVORITE LINE EVER. (minus the awesome akward silence moment *_*) If there was a best quote thing, THIS. SO MUCH. ♥♥♥

Okay, mentions of RK and Bleach. No words. It doesn't even disrupt the flow of the story, and the fact that Inui watched them to research!! Who led him astray to think they held working romantic data? AHAHAHA.

And the rest. I'll spare throwing the rest of your lines back at you but eeeejsdhg. Ryoma, you're such a snarky, snarky brat I adooooore hiiiim canihavehimcanicanicaniiii?

Oh wait, not just yet: He’d have to borrow Gravitation from Tezuka.

There's this thing more epic than *_* and ♥s and keysmash, but I haven't discovered it yet. When I do I'll apply it here.

Okay, ow, must stop laughing. I did enough of that the other day. :|

sinnatious
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:02 pm (UTC)
Mwa ha ha ha. Surprised to even see you comment here, actually. I thought the summary would have scared you away. ;)

I think I'll be using random flying tennis ball moment in every fic from now on. :3

asdljfkfj NO YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM, HE BELONGS TO ALL OF US. (And just for today, argentum only). :D

kaorismash
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
Admittedly I didn't actually read much at the top besides Luna's name and you're name and then the word fic registered and I cliiiicked.

Okay, no, I can't be that blind. I read over it and you said it was so GGGGG to me so I thought it was harmless Genfic and it wasn't and YOUUU! HOW DARE YOU DECEIVE ME. :| :| :|

Actually, I don't even remember why, truthfully truthfully. :D; MAYBE THE SINFIC PART OF IT COMPELS ME. :-?!
kaorismash
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)
Does that mean I can has Tezuka? No one laid claims on him today. :D
sinnatious
Dec. 12th, 2008 01:55 pm (UTC)
*laughs* G was in the rating! RATING! I did not even need to deliberately deceive you. :3
aventria
Dec. 12th, 2008 11:41 am (UTC)
Gravi--*choke*--Gravi----Gravi--*wheeze*--hodear--Gravitation from Tezuka!!! ROFLMAO!!!

*dies of laughter and lack of air*
sinnatious
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:05 pm (UTC)
^___^ Excellent. First kill of the day.
argentum_luna
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:30 pm (UTC)
;ALSDKFJA;SKLDJFL;KADJF;LKASJDF;KLJAL;DJFALSDKJF;ASLKDFJASD;FKJASD;KFAJ;SDFAKFJALSDKFJASL;DKFJASDLFKJASD

YOU ARE MOST WELCOME FOR LEMSIP CRACK.

AND AWESOME FIC IS AWESOMEA;SLDKFJA;SLKDFJASD FLASDFASDFASDFA;JSDFJA;SDF SOMUCH LOVE OMG INUI/RYO
sinnatious
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:36 pm (UTC)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HERE'S TO ANOTHER YEAR OF LEMSIP CRACK!
kaorismash
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:41 pm (UTC)
HAPPY TURNING OLDER DAAAAAAAAAAAAY. ♥
umarekawareru
Dec. 12th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
OMG YOUR LAST LINE KILLED ME. *incoherent* I'M GOING TO BE SORE TOMORROW FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH SERIOUSLY *_____*

Tezuka got careless! Woes.

*hearts to the end of time* ♥ ♥ Seigaku's Inui still can't compare to you, Renji. ^_^
sinnatious
Dec. 13th, 2008 08:16 am (UTC)
Just like Seigaku's captain can't compare to you, Buchou. ♥
pharrezychica
Dec. 12th, 2008 08:24 pm (UTC)
OMG, this was so cute and funny!
The last line FOR THE WIN! *___*
Did I mention I loved this? XD
Inui/Ryoma is so cracky that it's a delight to read the few times it pops up :D
sinnatious
Dec. 13th, 2008 08:32 am (UTC)
XD Isn't it? There needs to be more.

Thank you! Glad you liked it. ♥
ankoku_tenshi
Dec. 13th, 2008 06:11 pm (UTC)
XDDDDDDDDDDDD

That just about explains it. XD
firedraygon97
Dec. 13th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
*flails* Oh WOW this is absolutely brilliant. Only Inui would apply the whole lead-female-character stereotype to Sakuno. And yet, once again, Ryoma blows all of Inui's hard research out of the water. >D Watch out, Kaidoh, the first year's on your turf!

LOVE the ending, too. Inui's nothing if not tenacious. And Tezuka reads Gravi? XDD So great. I really think this deserves a follow-up. Perhaps after Inui has read the BL novels? Haha, then he can try matching up Ryoma to potential boyfriends...

Just a note: I used it fix up the zero-shiki drop shot,” he commented. Missing to.

Anyway, really hope to see more PoT fic from you! Also, Mizuki = love!
sinnatious
Dec. 14th, 2008 07:37 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it. ^__^ I can't remember whether Tezuka reading Gravitation wasa canon or a fanon thing anymore. But either way, it worked nicely. :P

Ooo, good catch, thanks!

(Also, that avatar is totally made of win).
firedraygon97
Dec. 14th, 2008 07:41 am (UTC)
Canon?! What?? XD;

The icon was from the lovely wakkawoo. She's so awesome. Wrote her a limerick for it. >D
roseofthine
Dec. 22nd, 2008 01:07 am (UTC)
IT WAS IN THE WHITE LINE OPENING SONG WHILE HE'S DRINKING TEA 8DDDD
roseofthine
Dec. 22nd, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
LUL NO I LIE ACCORDING TO THE ADVERTISEMENTS AT THE END OF THE 30-ISH EPISODES, IT'S AN ENDING xD
sinnatious
Dec. 22nd, 2008 10:09 am (UTC)
:D Right you are! Thank you!
zen_strike
Dec. 14th, 2008 08:49 am (UTC)
I love you. *___________*

seriously akdjlakjdciadjflaijckladjhafik; Gravitation from Tezuka. ahahaha. sacred court. I love your Ryoma. he's so.

WONDERFUL.
poilass
Dec. 31st, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
Inui/Ryoma! I don't know how this ridiculous pairing became my almost-otp, but I am gleeful to see it whenever it pops up. Sadly, always in tiny ficlets only! This was really funny and adorable. I really hope you write more of them someday.
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )