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Hard-hitting Journalism

Some days, I despair over the declining literary standards of the general population.  Then on days like today, I come across something like this, and want to start up a Foundation on Terminus as soon as possible.



It doesn't come out in the picture, but the first paragraph of the article reads:

HOW UNCLEAN IS OUR VALLEY?

Very unclean, sometimes.  Especially on Monday morning after the entertainment precint has rocked all weekend.  Parts of it are sometimes mean, too.  Drunken street people quite often make parts of it an unpleasant place to have to walk through, particularly Brunswick Street West leading up to and beyond the Fiveways at St Pauls Terrace.  There's blue language and sometimes fists are thrown in anger.


Then after another paragraph or two acting as captions for the photos at the top, it gets to the actual point of the article - that a local councilman had made a complaint somewhere, to little effect. 

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS THE FRONT PAGE.  -___-

Then, hidden on the page 5 continuation, the only part of the article that could be considered 'news' - that on the Federal Opposition Leader's visit, his staffers deliberately detoured him around the area.

I can't figure out whether this is written by someone very young or very old.  My hope is that it was written by the granddaughter of the paper editor, which could account for both outcomes.  aldfkjslkjf I don't know.  Even though I know I shouldn't expect much from a local tabloid that doesn't even capitalise its name, a part of me is highly affronted when skimming the front page of a newspaper, and instead getting the feeling that I'm actually reading a children's book.  Is it just me?!  Am I overreacting?  I'm actually really annoyed that there's no byline so that I can write a letter to the editor about it.  There must be out of work journalism majors out there, please give them something to do.

'Sometimes mean'?  Seriously?

Maybe it's just all the bad news about newspapers cutting circulation or closing down lately.  I've been getting a bit anxious about there actually being some quality press to do all that in-depth reporting that keeps people accountable.  :/  Speaking of accountability, IF ANYBODY SEES ME ONLINE TOMORROW PLEASE REMIND ME TO VOTE.

(In other news, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is still awesome.)

Comments

( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
thesundaywriter
Mar. 20th, 2009 11:58 am (UTC)
Parts of it are sometimes mean, too.

And this is written by a native English speaker? It sounds like a kid's essay ^^()...
animesque
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:12 pm (UTC)
I... I can write better than that =3

My sister could probably write better than that. Wait. I retract that last statement. I bet she's responsible for that piece of atrocity.

xD; However, it does make reading the paper somewhat more... interesting? Just not in a good way? =D;
sinnatious
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:19 pm (UTC)
XD I'm relieved I'm not the only one who thought so. True - I was laughing while reading it... but not with it, at it. :3

Oh dear. XD Your sister is that bad? I hope she's still in primary school.
ii_crack
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:27 pm (UTC)
Not entirely unrelated: Why Print Cannot Die (janked from athena8)
sinnatious
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:39 pm (UTC)
(Link is broken?)

XD OF COURSE. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. Pwnies!
ii_crack
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:04 pm (UTC)
Oops. Here. I think.

Edited at 2009-03-20 01:04 pm (UTC)
sinnatious
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:57 pm (UTC)
XDDDDD

IT IS LIKE A COLLECTION OF THE MOST AWESOME NEWS STORIES EVER.

Seriously, Hippo Eats Dwarf belongs on the front page. :|
(Anonymous)
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:51 pm (UTC)
Purple Crow
OMG, I THINK I'M GONNA DIE LAUGHING.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 20th, 2009 12:49 pm (UTC)
Purple Crow
M-Maybe it's April Fool's joke? And they just got the date wrong?

XDDD I don't know, I find it a very entertaining read. It is hilarious, in a very sad way.

But seriously, what are they trying to say by 'sometimes mean'?
sinnatious
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
Re: Purple Crow
If only. I must be vigilant for their April Fool's Edition. Perhaps it will invert itself. XD
crysaliz
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC)
o_O I'm going to go with younger on this one....just by the fact it's "sometimes mean"...as in like feral?
sinnatious
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:58 pm (UTC)
Well, the Valley IS kind of feral...

I would agree with you, but then, what kind of child would use the phrase 'blue language'? Would they even know what it means?
nerfracket
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Does it make me shallow that I want to see the photos of the fists that were thrown in anger? It'd be as gory as hell but possibly entertaining. I can just imagine Brunswick Street West littered with broken-off hands...

It's moments like these when I need more than Minties, I need an "Australia, you're standing in it" icon.
sinnatious
Mar. 21st, 2009 08:45 am (UTC)
Hahaha, I hadn't even picked up on that one.

Yes! The need for that icon has been growing exponentially lately. XD (Minties! Haven't had Minties in AGES. If I buy Minties tomorrow I'm blaming you Nerf. :P)
summerslaughter
Mar. 20th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)
That sounds like it wouldn't be out of place in a middle school newspaper.

My sister dropped out of high school rather than repeat 10th grade & she could write a better article than that.
agentlerain
Mar. 21st, 2009 03:57 am (UTC)
What in the world is 'blue language'? :P
sinnatious
Mar. 21st, 2009 08:46 am (UTC)
I want to hear some 'red language'!

It is that archaic term that has me confused. If it weren't for that, I could just pretend it was written by a kid and it would be less depressing. -___-
agentlerain
Mar. 21st, 2009 08:53 am (UTC)
Gods, that would be hilarious newspaper to read :D

-____- They really knew how to connect with their readers, throwing in obscure terms. Is this your local?

(Ninja turtles will be immortally awesome. :3)

Oh! Have you voted yet?
sinnatious
Mar. 21st, 2009 09:00 am (UTC)
Yes, local Valley newspaper. Though I think the perhaps they ought to reclassify it as a newsletter if this is what they print. :)

(True! I was just amazed that when rewatching the original TV show, IT WAS ACTUALLY STILL VERY COOL, unlike a lot of other shows that make you cringe ten years later. \o/)

I have! Nearly forgot, though. :P Thanks for the belated reminder.

agentlerain
Mar. 21st, 2009 09:11 am (UTC)
Is there somewhere you can write in to complain? I know you said that it doesn't have a editor's note, but :S some place for feedback?

I always loved their artist names. :D

What exactly are you voting for? Don't tell me it's for daylight savings, otherwise I'm in big trouble. D:
sinnatious
Mar. 21st, 2009 09:30 am (UTC)
It's the state election actually. (We voted on daylight savings years ago, hopefully that vote doesn't come back any time soon, because I'm kind of getting sick of that particular annual debate.) XD

Alas, I think I managed to safely vent my indignation here, and probably don't have enough left for epic letter writing to the paper. :P
iluxia
Mar. 21st, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC)
America is rubbing off on everyone. Let's hope whoever wrote this never tries his/her hand in fanfiction -- else he/she is in for one mean ride.
sinnatious
Mar. 22nd, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)
On the contrary, it may cause some much-needed growth. ^__^ But we have enough badfic in fandom already. Gasp! MAYBE THEY ALREADY HAVE.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 26th, 2009 10:34 pm (UTC)
SparklyFish
blue language = WHAT.


sometimes mean. lol


*is glad she can write slightly better than that*
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )