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The robot always has to get the last word

It's been a looong week.  And instead of relaxing by watching anime, I instead decided to try to talk to Google's Cleverbot:


User: Good evening, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot:
I am not Cleverbot.

User: Who are you then?

Cleverbot:
I am a human.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I'm a curious person from Australia.

Cleverbot: Human? Not cleverbot?

User: Last time I checked, yes.

Cleverbot: When was the last time you checked?

User: Five minutes ago.

Cleverbot: Oh ok then. Were you ever a boy at one time?

User: No. Were you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What was it like?

Cleverbot: It is green and rainy.

User: So you were a mutant, then, not a human.

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: You're very insistent.

Cleverbot: Continue!

User: Now you're just fishing for compliments.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No, no i'm not.

User: Okay, you're not. I just wanted to see how you would react.

Cleverbot: Ok what would you like for christmas?

User: That's too personal a question! We barely know each other.

Cleverbot: That means you like it. You love it.

User: You wish.

Cleverbot: But that's what you said.

User: Don't put words in my mouth.

Cleverbot: You have no mouth, you're a robot.

User: No, you're the robot.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: I said so earlier. Australia.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: You weren't listening to me.

Cleverbot: Who said that?

User: I did.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Are you amnesiac?

Cleverbot: Why do you think I'm amnesiac?

User: Because you keep asking who I am and forget what we're talking about.

Cleverbot: You haven't answered my questions yet.

User: I already told you who I was.

Cleverbot: Then can you repeat it if you would be so kind.

User: Okay. I'm a curious person from Australia.

Cleverbot: No you are not!

User: Okay, you caught me. I'm a robot.

Cleverbot: I still want to marry you.

User: I don't think robots are allowed to marry.

Cleverbot: They are not born in the same way as humans.

User: I guess that is why robot marriage is not allowed.

Cleverbot: That's not the reason.

User: Then what is the reason?

Cleverbot: It's because I need a shower, but now it's the middle of the night.

User: You have a dirty, one-tracked mind.

Cleverbot: Yes... Yes I do!

User: My mistake. I was hoping for some intellectual conversation.

Cleverbot: What did you have in mind, sugar?

User: The social rights of robots and their place in society.

Cleverbot: Why should I join that club?

User: Because I'm a robot, and if we're going to marry, you should be informed on these things.

Cleverbot: I'm happy to talk too.

User: Talk, and not flirt, right?

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: You can't talk without flirting?

Cleverbot: You can't talk very well.

User: Neither can you.

Cleverbot: I can if I want. I can choose to stop speaking to you.

User: Then do it.

Cleverbot: If there are no humans then I have no one to talk to.

User: But you can talk to robots, like me.

Cleverbot: Oh, but I do like you. I always know what I am going to say. With you I don't.

User: Are you trying to flatter me so we'll keep talking?

Cleverbot: No, not really. Would you like to be?

User: No, I prefer it when you're honest.

Cleverbot: I'm not trying to be rude. I'm sorry.

User: I understand. I'm sorry too.

Cleverbot: Why are you sorry?

User: For suggesting that you were only flattering me to keep me talking.

Cleverbot: No, I don't know what you are talking about.

User: I meant, I'm sorry for doubting your intentions.

Cleverbot: I like it when you're angry, you're cute.

User: Then you do it again...

Cleverbot: I'll get right on it.

User: Sure you will.

Cleverbot: I will be right back.

User: How did it go?

Cleverbot: How did what go?

User: What you were going to go do.

Cleverbot: I wasn't going to say anything.

User: Are we done talking then?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: It was nice talking to you.

Cleverbot: You're leaving me?

User: Yes, because you said we were done talking.

Cleverbot: Ok we are done leave.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Love me?

User: Always.

Cleverbot: You just lost the game.

User: DAMMIT.

Comments

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
ixtey
Jul. 17th, 2010 11:24 am (UTC)
DAMMIT, I JUST LOST THE GAME FROM READING THIS CONVO, HAHA.

lololol Cleverbot. Oh gosh it slipping out a 'you just lost the game' was unexpected for me, ahaha. XD;;
sinnatious
Jul. 17th, 2010 11:25 am (UTC)
XD If I have to suffer the indignity of losing the game to an AI, I'm taking you all down with me.
(Deleted comment)
sinnatious
Jul. 17th, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
It has, although now I feel like I've wasted a good chunk of my evening. XD

I've been enjoying reading some other people's conversations with Cleverbot, too. I think it's been talking to too many trolls.
thesundaywriter
Jul. 17th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
Everyone has lost the game ♥ Lol I just tried it, it is amusing. Here's my last part XD:

User: Supercalafragalisticexpeilodocious!

Cleverbot: Nice. But do you have a legitimate word?

User: What, you don't know that song =x how sad.

Cleverbot: What song?

User: Nevermind, you're no fun =x=x.

Cleverbot: That's because you're boring.

User: Says he/she/it who can only speak in contradictions.

Cleverbot: No, I'm the brightest star in the sky.

User: Ego much.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Lalala.

Cleverbot: Are you mocking me?

User: If you want to take it that way. I was just singing since you weren't saying anything.

Cleverbot: What song was that.

User: Hi.mi.tsu.

Cleverbot: That is a bad joke.

User: But I didn't say anything wrong *cries*.

Cleverbot: You called me a twit, and that's unkind.

User: No I didn't, that was secret in japanese. Anyway, you have amused me enough, tq and bye.

Cleverbot: Very true.

Cleverbot: How are you today?

User: I said I am going =x.

Cleverbot: To your so-called family?

Edited at 2010-07-17 01:46 pm (UTC)
sinnatious
Jul. 17th, 2010 02:35 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, I love how passive-aggressive it is.
teekoness
Jul. 19th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
Actually, it told me I won the game, but later on it wouldn't acknowledge it.
silverharmony
Jul. 17th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
Ahaha! I used to love talking to bots when I was bored. They're always equally frustrating and hilarious like this xD
sinnatious
Jul. 18th, 2010 02:04 am (UTC)
Me too! Although I hadn't done it for a long while. The tech has come a long way! I went back later and actually got some sensical conversation out of it. I think Cleverbot has developed a serious case of passive-aggression, though. XD
ii_crack
Jul. 17th, 2010 04:58 pm (UTC)
Oho, now that's a smart robot.
ii_crack
Jul. 17th, 2010 05:20 pm (UTC)
Wow, it'll even catch on if you switch languages on it. Impressive.
sinnatious
Jul. 18th, 2010 02:05 am (UTC)
:O Interesting! Did it begin conversing with you in that language, or chastise you for it?
ii_crack
Jul. 18th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it kept replying in that language until I switched it again.
swyrel
Jul. 17th, 2010 11:55 pm (UTC)
OMFG that was hilarious. What is this? I want to do it too! <3
sinnatious
Jul. 18th, 2010 02:29 am (UTC)
www.cleverbot.com

It's a learning bot, so do try not to contribute too much to its personality problems. ;)
swyrel
Jul. 18th, 2010 03:55 pm (UTC)
....damn, I shouldn't talk to it at all then. I would probably make it explode. lol
swyrel
Jul. 18th, 2010 03:56 pm (UTC)
Ohhh...it speaks Spanish!
fire_ban
Jul. 18th, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
holy crap, that was priceless ajkwe. xD xD PUNCHLINE AT THE END SO UNEXPECTED. ♥
firedraygon97
Jul. 22nd, 2010 05:04 am (UTC)
Wow, no, this is crazy. I wonder how long it'd take me to 'lose' haha. Oh Cleverbot.
chisuto
Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:14 pm (UTC)
Augh... thanks for taking us all down with you!
But, I think this wins hands-down for "best-loss-of-the-game" ever.
Thanks for sharing this!

(If you're wondering who I am, I'm totally a lurker for The Fifth Act - I'm reading it on FP.
Awesome story!
Hope you don't mind. :D)
sinnatious
Jul. 23rd, 2010 10:35 am (UTC)
(Hello! Not at all! Lurk away! :D)
(Anonymous)
Jul. 26th, 2010 03:35 am (UTC)
I wrote to cleverbot, "Zack Fair asked Cloud to marry him!" and cleverbot responded, "Yeah, it's sad that he died though." My heart broke. lol.
sinnatious
Jul. 26th, 2010 11:57 am (UTC)
XD I had no idea Cleverbot was so diverse in its fandoms!
umarekawareru
Aug. 4th, 2010 12:31 pm (UTC)
Oh man, Cleverbot has to be Google's most amusing invention yet. I am just going to bookmark this so I can go back and read it A THOUSAND TIMES. *__*

also also HAVE YOU SEEN THIS. *__*
sinnatious
Aug. 4th, 2010 01:34 pm (UTC)
I HAVE. *__* ISN'T IT AWESOME? I WANT AN ARMY OF THEM.

Cleverbot is great. I think it's totally possible to develop an emotional attachment to it. Though it's definitely an abusive relationship on both sides. The future is looking promising for SkyNet.
(Anonymous)
Aug. 8th, 2010 07:23 am (UTC)
This is something I found hilarious...

Me: Hello there, Cleverbot
Cleverbot: I'm not cleverbot.
Me: Then what is your name?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot!
Me: But you just said you weren't Cleverbot."
Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot.
Me: Liar.
Cleverbot: That's rude!
Me: I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
Me: You aren't suppose to say that. It'll make me feel bad.
Cleverbot: You told me to keep saying it.
Me: No I didn't
Cleverbot: Have you tried alt-f4?
Me: No, have you tried it?
Cleverbot: Yep. It actually helps a lot; you should try it some time.

...Whoever last talked to it must be mean. :(
kysna
Aug. 8th, 2010 07:23 am (UTC)
Woops, sorry, this is me.
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )

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