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Giftfic Time!

Happy birthday argentum_luna</lj> !  Thanks for all of your wonderful crack and fantastic art and lemsip-induced craziness this past year.  ^__^

I tried to write you Mizuki fic, I really did, but I just couldn't write more than a sentence without wanting to headdesk.  XD  So you get Inui/Ryo-ish drabble instead.

Title: The Laws of Shonen Jump Romance

Summary: Inui attempts to apply the rules of Shonen Jump romances to Ryoma.

Rating: So, so PG.

Words: 574


The Laws of Shonen Jump Romance

“100 percent probability that she is your destined one.”
Ryoma turned back to his senpai as the two girls walked away. “Who?”
“Ah, I should have specified which one. Ryuuzaki Sakuno.”
The freshman blanched. “What makes you say that, senpai?”
“The data, of course.”
“The data?”
Inui adjusted his glasses, tone quite serious. “That’s right. I’ve been reading up on it.”
“On relationships?” Ryoma’s tone was faintly incredulous. “How did you arrive at that?”
“Well, the data says…” Here Inui flipped through a particularly thick notebook. “That in approximately 95 percent of all classic romances, the first girl met is the one the protagonist ends up dating.”
“We’re not dating.”
“Not yet, of course. According to a wealth of material, these things take time.”
Ryoma stared. A stray tennis ball flew over the fence behind them and rolled into the grass nearby. “She’s not the first girl I’ve ever met, senpai.”
“But the first one you exchanged words with in Japan, correct?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You asked her for directions.”
Ryoma’s eyebrow twitched. “How do you even know that, Inui-senpai?”
“But you did.”
“They were wrong.”
He made a note. “That has an insignificant effect on the pattern. You’ve eaten her bentou.”
“Since when does that mean anything?” he replied in a deadpan.
“She watches all of your matches.”
“So do you, senpai.”
“What?” That part tripped Inui up briefly. Fumbling, he continued, “Well, naturally, but… She shows great concern when you’re injured. For example, when you were playing Fudomine’s Ibu Shinji.”
Ryoma’s brow furrowed. He appeared displeased at the recollection. “She came onto the court.” The court was sacred.
“Another particularly common theme – the destined lover frequently pursues her chosen one into dangerous territory despite repeated warnings not to do so. See Rurouni Kenshin Kyoto arc and a number of instances in Bleach…”
“And ruins everything in all of those examples,” Ryoma pointed out.
Inui adjusted his glasses. He’d looked quite deeply into this matter and was confident of his position, but was strangely beginning to feel out of his depth. “Regardless, the pattern holds.”
“It’s a stupid pattern.”
Scrambling for firmer ground, Inui continued, “Another significant moment was your departure to America. She came to see you at the airport.”
“She was late. She wouldn’t have made it if the flight wasn’t delayed.”
“But in the end, the gift you received from her held the most meaning, did it not?”
“Actually, the data you gave me was more useful. I used it to fix up the zero-shiki drop shot,” he commented.
Inui was definitely not approaching this right. Ryoma was being stubborn. “The data doesn’t lie.”
The freshman tilted his head, golden eyes observing him curiously. After a moment, he crooked his finger and said, “Hey, I’ve got a secret.” Obligingly, the data gatherer lent down so that the freshman could whisper in his ear.
No words were spoken, however – there was only the soft press of lips against his cheek.
Inui blinked, then straightened, staring at the freshman as though he was a completely unclassified specimen of the highest rarity.
Ryoma smirked, and tugged on his cap. “What does your data say about that?” He propped his racquet up on his shoulder and sauntered away.
Inui remained still for a number of minutes before numbly closing his notebook. 
He was going to have to start all over again.
BL novels this time, apparently. He’d have to borrow Gravitation from Tezuka.


Dec. 12th, 2008 12:02 pm (UTC)
Mwa ha ha ha. Surprised to even see you comment here, actually. I thought the summary would have scared you away. ;)

I think I'll be using random flying tennis ball moment in every fic from now on. :3

asdljfkfj NO YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM, HE BELONGS TO ALL OF US. (And just for today, argentum only). :D

Dec. 12th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
Admittedly I didn't actually read much at the top besides Luna's name and you're name and then the word fic registered and I cliiiicked.

Okay, no, I can't be that blind. I read over it and you said it was so GGGGG to me so I thought it was harmless Genfic and it wasn't and YOUUU! HOW DARE YOU DECEIVE ME. :| :| :|

Actually, I don't even remember why, truthfully truthfully. :D; MAYBE THE SINFIC PART OF IT COMPELS ME. :-?!
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)
Does that mean I can has Tezuka? No one laid claims on him today. :D
Dec. 12th, 2008 01:55 pm (UTC)
*laughs* G was in the rating! RATING! I did not even need to deliberately deceive you. :3