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Giftfic Time!

Happy birthday argentum_luna</lj> !  Thanks for all of your wonderful crack and fantastic art and lemsip-induced craziness this past year.  ^__^

I tried to write you Mizuki fic, I really did, but I just couldn't write more than a sentence without wanting to headdesk.  XD  So you get Inui/Ryo-ish drabble instead.

Title: The Laws of Shonen Jump Romance

Summary: Inui attempts to apply the rules of Shonen Jump romances to Ryoma.

Rating: So, so PG.

Words: 574


The Laws of Shonen Jump Romance

“100 percent probability that she is your destined one.”
Ryoma turned back to his senpai as the two girls walked away. “Who?”
“Ah, I should have specified which one. Ryuuzaki Sakuno.”
The freshman blanched. “What makes you say that, senpai?”
“The data, of course.”
“The data?”
Inui adjusted his glasses, tone quite serious. “That’s right. I’ve been reading up on it.”
“On relationships?” Ryoma’s tone was faintly incredulous. “How did you arrive at that?”
“Well, the data says…” Here Inui flipped through a particularly thick notebook. “That in approximately 95 percent of all classic romances, the first girl met is the one the protagonist ends up dating.”
“We’re not dating.”
“Not yet, of course. According to a wealth of material, these things take time.”
Ryoma stared. A stray tennis ball flew over the fence behind them and rolled into the grass nearby. “She’s not the first girl I’ve ever met, senpai.”
“But the first one you exchanged words with in Japan, correct?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You asked her for directions.”
Ryoma’s eyebrow twitched. “How do you even know that, Inui-senpai?”
“But you did.”
“They were wrong.”
He made a note. “That has an insignificant effect on the pattern. You’ve eaten her bentou.”
“Since when does that mean anything?” he replied in a deadpan.
“She watches all of your matches.”
“So do you, senpai.”
“What?” That part tripped Inui up briefly. Fumbling, he continued, “Well, naturally, but… She shows great concern when you’re injured. For example, when you were playing Fudomine’s Ibu Shinji.”
Ryoma’s brow furrowed. He appeared displeased at the recollection. “She came onto the court.” The court was sacred.
“Another particularly common theme – the destined lover frequently pursues her chosen one into dangerous territory despite repeated warnings not to do so. See Rurouni Kenshin Kyoto arc and a number of instances in Bleach…”
“And ruins everything in all of those examples,” Ryoma pointed out.
Inui adjusted his glasses. He’d looked quite deeply into this matter and was confident of his position, but was strangely beginning to feel out of his depth. “Regardless, the pattern holds.”
“It’s a stupid pattern.”
Scrambling for firmer ground, Inui continued, “Another significant moment was your departure to America. She came to see you at the airport.”
“She was late. She wouldn’t have made it if the flight wasn’t delayed.”
“But in the end, the gift you received from her held the most meaning, did it not?”
“Actually, the data you gave me was more useful. I used it to fix up the zero-shiki drop shot,” he commented.
Inui was definitely not approaching this right. Ryoma was being stubborn. “The data doesn’t lie.”
The freshman tilted his head, golden eyes observing him curiously. After a moment, he crooked his finger and said, “Hey, I’ve got a secret.” Obligingly, the data gatherer lent down so that the freshman could whisper in his ear.
No words were spoken, however – there was only the soft press of lips against his cheek.
Inui blinked, then straightened, staring at the freshman as though he was a completely unclassified specimen of the highest rarity.
Ryoma smirked, and tugged on his cap. “What does your data say about that?” He propped his racquet up on his shoulder and sauntered away.
Inui remained still for a number of minutes before numbly closing his notebook. 
He was going to have to start all over again.
BL novels this time, apparently. He’d have to borrow Gravitation from Tezuka.


Dec. 13th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
*flails* Oh WOW this is absolutely brilliant. Only Inui would apply the whole lead-female-character stereotype to Sakuno. And yet, once again, Ryoma blows all of Inui's hard research out of the water. >D Watch out, Kaidoh, the first year's on your turf!

LOVE the ending, too. Inui's nothing if not tenacious. And Tezuka reads Gravi? XDD So great. I really think this deserves a follow-up. Perhaps after Inui has read the BL novels? Haha, then he can try matching up Ryoma to potential boyfriends...

Just a note: I used it fix up the zero-shiki drop shot,” he commented. Missing to.

Anyway, really hope to see more PoT fic from you! Also, Mizuki = love!
Dec. 14th, 2008 07:37 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it. ^__^ I can't remember whether Tezuka reading Gravitation wasa canon or a fanon thing anymore. But either way, it worked nicely. :P

Ooo, good catch, thanks!

(Also, that avatar is totally made of win).
Dec. 14th, 2008 07:41 am (UTC)
Canon?! What?? XD;

The icon was from the lovely wakkawoo. She's so awesome. Wrote her a limerick for it. >D
Dec. 22nd, 2008 01:07 am (UTC)
Dec. 22nd, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
Dec. 22nd, 2008 10:09 am (UTC)
:D Right you are! Thank you!